Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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