Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
