he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
