3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
