its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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