in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
