it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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