She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
