meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
