he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
