i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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