Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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