why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize