no, he came in my armpit
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Come on in and take your pants off
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