Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
