wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
