ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
