we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
