I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
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It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
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Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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