I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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