Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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