he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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