I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
