i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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