i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
