First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
