if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize