dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
