4 words: hood of his car
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
