Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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