How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
