hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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