i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
