I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
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Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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