Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
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No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.