even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
