You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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