She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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