I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
