Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
