you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
