I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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