idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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