It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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