i may or may not be watching the land before time
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
