So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize