She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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