i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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