i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
