hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
