Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Watching her eat just hurts me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You are the jesus of drinking
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize