you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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