I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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