youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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