i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
