dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
