areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
