So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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