Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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