You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
