Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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