everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
