i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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